HAYRIDE TO HELL
**
Directed by Dan Lantz.
Starring Bill Moseley, Kane Hodder, Graham Wolfe, Shelby Hightower, Denise Parella.
Horror, USA, 91 mins.
Released on digital platforms via Breaking Glass Pictures on 24th September 2024.
In HAYRIDE TO HELL, horror royalty Bill Moseley and Kane Hodder team up again for an atmospheric Halloween romp as Moseley plays Farmer Sam, who every year organises a Halloween hayride for the locals. However, Farmer Sam has financial issues and if he doesn’t make enough money to pay back a bank loan his farm will be seized and his family’s legacy tarnished, as his ancestors have lived on that land for generations.
But regardless of whether he can pay off his debts, the locals have decreed that they do not want Farmer Sam and his harmless nonsense in their county anymore. After an incident involving Farmer Sam defending his family cemetery from vandals, he offers the locals – led by Sheriff Jubel (Hodder) – a challenge where if he can scare the living daylights out of Jubel, his deputy, the local councillor and a constantly whining well-to-do couple (cunningly named Karen and Dick) with his new hayride then they agree to leave him alone. Naturally, they all think him mad and so indulge him his little bit of fun, until the joke turns out not to be so funny for the doubting locals.
The strength of HAYRIDE TO HELL lies in its casting, with Bill Moseley hamming it up as the cantankerous Farmer Sam and clearly having a blast, his instantly recognisable voice making the less-than-stellar puns hit higher than they would have done with another actor delivering them. Kane Hodder also proves he is more than just a stuntman as Farmer Sam’s lifelong nemesis Sheriff Jubel, playing off Moseley as if they have been a double act for decades, and again, in the hands of somebody with less natural screen presence this character could have been a lot less fun than Hodder makes him.
The supporting cast are all fairly strong too, with Denise Parella’s Karen being a particular highlight, and the few dropped lines about entitlement and opinions counting could have had a broader meaning if you really wanted to look into the script too deeply, but in doing so you might uncover one of HAYRIDE TO HELL’s two biggest flaws, namely the script being so underdeveloped it takes actors with the talent of Bill Moseley and Kane Hodder to make anything of it. Add to that the low budget feel – this was shot digitally and a lot of it was green screened, because lighting a farm at night would have cost money – and HAYRIDE TO HELL quickly becomes the sort of horror movie that those outside of hardcore genre fandom scoff at because it looks like a cheap TV show. It does have transition wipes, though, which, given how flat the rest of the movie looks, does give it a bit of style.
HAYRIDE TO HELL is a tough one to score, because on the surface it is cheap, visually unexciting and tonally all over the place, and yet it does have its charms. Moseley and Hodder anchor the whole thing and add enough sparkle to lift the material, whilst the Halloween setting is appropriately spooky and there are some neat kills, especially one involving a huge drill on the back of some farm machinery. With a bigger budget and more practical gore, HAYRIDE TO HELL could have been the best seasonal slasher that Rob Zombie never made, but as it is it feels like a portfolio piece for the filmmakers. Yes, it is a finished movie with a few proper actors in it, but its limitations are up there on the screen for all to see, making HAYRIDE TO HELL a relatively fun, yet ultimately forgettable, ride.
Chris Ward
